#totally not my internal personality romanticized

[ronidrawzstuff]

meet my OC Nikki!

[nobodysdaydreams]

My thoughts on the SI-5

For as much as a lot of fandom romanticizes the SI-5 as a friend group, Kepler really did Jacobi and Maxwell so dirty. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he got it in the end, and the character himself is hilarious. But I need to talk about this. This man is insane and needs to be held accountable.

First of all, he meets them at the very lowest points of their life. Maxwell is isolated from her family and support systems, and it’s implied her career is heading for the toilet due to her fight with the ethics board. Jacobi’s career is totally over after he was blacklisted from his work, and it’s implied he doesn’t have strong support systems either. Kepler knows that and uses it to manipulate both of them into working for him. They both, especially Jacobi, have such a strong loyalty to him because they saw him as their only way out of their situations, and Kepler does not match that loyalty at all.

How do I know this? Because he was totally cool with Maxwell dying. Didn’t shed a tear. And when Jacobi called him out for that and threatened HIS life? Kepler was like “well okay. Guess we have to shoot Jacobi then.” I was reviewing my episode reactions, and I totally forgot he told Minkowski that. Like he didn’t hesitate or even try apologizing to Jacobi or admitting he was wrong first, he jumped right to “kill Jacobi instead.” He also had the audacity to say “how could he (Jacobi) do this? After all we’ve been through? 🥺” and then what they’ve “been through” is Kepler buying Jacobi fireworks (1) time, admitting to stalking Jacobi and Maxwell for years before he hired them (creepy), harassing and threatening them if they fail to comply with his orders, telling Jacobi and Maxwell they’re worth about as much as a glass of whisky and he wouldn’t miss them (which is verified by his reaction to Maxwell’s death and brief willingness to kill Jacobi to save his own skin when Jacobi tries to get revenge), lying to Jacobi and Maxwell and keeping secrets from both of them, and being an arrogant jerk of a boss who treats them more like his patronized pets than his friends. It’s actually funny how Kepler is shocked that wouldn’t be enough to keep Jacobi’s loyalty after gambling with the life of his best friend. He’s so blinded by his own ego it’s hilarious. Like buddy, it’s a miracle of desperate circumstance that either of them were loyal to you in the first place, you pompous whisky-worshipping buffoon.

You even see it in the little details. Kepler talking to Cutter about Jacobi and Maxwell behind their backs on that one call, the way Jacobi calls Maxwell “Alana” but Jacobi and Kepler use their formal names for each other until the very end when Kepler calls Jacobi “Daniel” and acts legitimately terrified to discover what Cutter and Pryce’s true plans are. Which again, love the way the redemption arc was done and those little details show you proof that Kepler rethought his views and isn’t doing this on a whim and that Jacobi and Maxwell’s friendship, as compared to their relationships with Kepler, was a stronger and more real and genuine friendship. I mean, headcanon what you want, write the SI-5 how you want. But a lot of people seem to either love or hate the whole SI-5 group (I admit this was me for a long while, though I do love post-redemption duck and whisky boys) so it’s easy to gloss over these internal dynamics within the SI-5, but if Kepler survived, I would personally need him to acknowledge just how much of a jerk he really was because yikes.

[elonex]

what’s your opinion on trans men

Internalized misogyny.

That's it.

I feel sorry for them. They see being female as inferior, just as society conditions everyone to believe, from birth.

You cannot fully embrace your female-ness without breaking free of that conditioning. And the only way to fully break free is to embrace radical feminism, or atleast many aspects of it.

But that's hard.

Especially with all the "alternatives" that male culture loves to present to women and girls as supposedly "fulfilling". Such as

-"romanticize your femininity"

-"be a traditional woman"

-"be a boss lady who still worships men"

-"have a hoe phase"

-"be hot so you have power over men by appealing to them"

.

.

.

Yada yada...

But at the end of the day, none of these things will change the fact that power in male society is skewed against women and no matter how perfectly a girl or woman fits any of these archetypes, she will still be mocked/infantalized/dismissed by men. And none of these does anything to change that tiny voice in the mind that asks "maybe I really am inferior...".

So I can totally understand their desire to become men.

But I don't think it is gender transition that they really need...it is feminism.

Feminism, not the pink glitter and heels version, but real radical feminism, is the only ideology that truthfully pictures womanhood and separates male oppression from nature.

It's the only ideology that will enable a woman or girl to truly embrace herself, her body, her mind, quirks and her outspoken confidence.

Yet, male culture makes it so hard for women to explore this version of feminism.

When I first dipped my toes into feminism, I was scared that I would become a shrill, unpleasant harpy, yk, as they make feminists out to be...but instead I became confident, in love with life and womanhood, outspoken and more powerful in my personal life than I ever imagined.

I was scared that no boy would want me (I'm straight and was still a young girl at the time). Instead I just found that I attract respectful and respectable men, just with the confidence that comes with radical feminism and female-first approach. And I now know full well that my life would be as fulfilling and happy without them as it is with them.

Radical feminism is really a gift, second only to the gift of female-ness itself.

I feel sorry that these women never got to explore it before giving up on their own true selves...

[n-akihiko]

CALL ME AKIHIKO.

Ah, seriously! It's- uh- it's my name and I happen to like it. I want you to call me that. Akihiko. See? It even sounds, um, pretty, coming from you.

Ah, right right! I'm supposed to be introducing myself!

Name's Nirei Akihiko. My friends call me Nirei...sometimes. Or, w-well, uh, whatever they want to call me. It doesn't matter! I'm fine with it! I like nicknames and all that stuff anyway. Feel free to give me one, I'd appreciate it!

Uh, how old I am? I'm twenty-seven! I know, I don't look it. I get that a lot. Most people think I'm early twenties or whatever but hey, guess that means I've got good jeans! Haha! ...Oh? What's that Dri? It's genes? Oh. I knew that! I totally knew that.

U-uh, anyway! Nirei Akihiko at your service. If you ever want to talk logistics, I'm your guy. I like to learn about people. And things. And the things people like! What are things I like? I'm really into literature and poetry. I think the arts really tells a lot about a person and the kinds of art they're drawn to can tell you a lot about them. I'm a fan of Pablo Neruda and Mahmoud Darwish. Yeah, I'm uh, I'm a romantic. I like modern romanticism. It's really beautiful to me, the kinds of things people can create in the name of love. It's inspiring.

Um, I'm also into cooking! I like making pasta dishes and salads and stuff. Maybe we can talk recipes sometime if you cook too! Do you? You've gotta tell me about it sometime. Or- or maybe you can come over to my place! Or I can come over to yours? And we can, um, have dinner sometime.

Well I think that's about it- uh, my job? Oh, right, my job! I uh, I work in import export. I'm a logistics manager for international trade with this company that specializes in distribution of various goods. It's kind of boring stuff, I don't like to talk about it a lot. But yeah! That's about all for me right now...huh? S-Sex?! I- uh! N-no comment on that sort of stuff right now! You'll just have to find out about that later!

@elizahoney @saintsuya

[lycanlovingvampyre]

MAG 171 Relisten

Activity on my first listen: cutting the French tamarisk in my garden (how fitting!).

JON: "Don’t. Touch. Anything." MARTIN: "I wasn’t planning to." [HE GIVES A LITTLE HEH AT THE END.] Fair, after Martin constantly wanted to touch the plastic explosives xD

MARTIN: "You sound like you think they’re beautiful." JON: "Don’t you?" He is what he is, a part of the Fears and does seem in tune with it here. Accepting it (5th stage of grief - acceptance. I do like that theory of each season representing one of the 5 stages of grief, even if S2 doesn't quite fit anger). But to be honest, I also think the flowers sound pretty cool. Some people find morbid aesthetics beautiful. I always have.

JARED: "Not to worry friend; no harm done. Just a bit of pruning will set you right." [HE CLIPS SOMETHING. THE PERSON-PLANT YELLS.] [JARED SHUSHES THEM AS THEY CONTINUE TO DO SO. THEY START CRYING, OVER SOME FLESHY SOUNDS. WATER BURBLES.] JARED: "No real fuss. Should sort you right out. Soon you’ll be good as new." [THE PERSON-THING CONTINUES TO WHIMPER IN THE BACKGROUND.] JARED: "Better, even. You just need to – reach down inside and – really feel that fear. Let it guide how you grow." That however I find horrifying again. Obviously hurting the person, so much that they cry out in pain, and still think that what he is doing is the right thing, helping the person...

JARED: (dismissive) "Oh, and who’s this? Your boyfriend?" [THIS IS CLEARLY MEANT TO BE A DISS.] MARTIN: "Um –" JON: (overlapping) "Yes, actually." JARED: (Ah!) "Oh. Hm." Okay, the obvious here is of course Jared trying to diss Jon using homosexuality/homo-romanticism as an insult (is this btw. the only time homophobia comes up in TMA? There was implied transphobia in MAG 110, but otherwise?), which absolutely doesn't work on Jon and he even immediately answers with full confidence, taking the wind out of Jared's sails in an instant. Which can be a very good strategy against bullies, they want an emotional negative reaction, if you just refuse to give that to them, they will move on to their next victim (sadly for that poor soul). But it also tells a bit more about each character here. Jared has been described as "thick as mud" in MAG 17, that is pretty typical for individuals like that to resort to xenophobia, homophobia, misogyny, etc. But Jon and Martin also tell us something here. Martin was absolutely not sure how to react. As far as I know he's gay, there was never any indication that he's bi or pan, so I'll go with that. He probably had plenty of experiences being bullied for being gay, especially if you take his age into account. Growing up in the 90s/early 2000s was probably not a good time (absolutely not saying it was easier before!). Homosexuality was listed in the ICD-9 in 1977. That is the International Classification of DISEASES!! It was only removed from the ICD-10 in 1990! (Not going into it's record in the DSM because that's only used in the US and we're in the UK here, but it was similarly bad, it was seen as a mental illness.) And additionally 1997 was the peak of HIV and AIDS epidemic and that really fueled homophobia back then. I remember calling someone/something gay was a really common insult back then among teens. So denying his homosexuality especially among unfamiliar and (duh!) hostile people is probably super hardwired into Martin, and he never was someone with a lot of self-confidence anyway (total opposite: Tim for example, of whom we know he's not private about "that stuff" - MAG 69).  And then we have Jon, biromantic. We don't know if he has ever dated men before, but generally being bi means you're probably a lot more likely to be in hetero-relationships, simply because it's a lot easier to find those. Also, I mean he has been raised by his grandma, there's every likelihood he has subtly been raised in a homophobic way and there's a good chance he has tried to rationalize crushes on other men as "a really close friend whom I'm looking up to", even if deep down he knows it's not that. Okay, what I'm saying is he probably hasn't experienced external homophobia towards him. I do like the popular fanon idea, that Georgie helped him work through that, as she seems a lot more confident than him. Otherwise he has probably experienced acephobia or he hid his asexuality well enough and grew up super insecure on the inside without showing it. Which, considering his behavior in S1, is pretty likely for his character. So it does make sense for Jon to show confidence here, given the possibility of him never to have experienced homophobia, usually presenting super sure of himself and also by now he knows how powerful he is in this world, that probably also works very well as a boost. (Also it's super cute how sure and smug Jon sounds, like he's extremely proud about Martin being his boyfriend.)

JARED: "Anyway. Willing. Unwilling. Don’t work like that anymore, does it? You made sure of that." MARTIN: "That’s – not fair." JARED: "And what?" MARTIN: "I – I – Mm, uh –" Ah yes, trying to speak up for Jon, which takes a lot of energy. Makes sense that he's deflating again when more resistance is coming his way.  Also, all the monsters and Avatars seems to know it was the Archivist's doing. Helen is obvious, she has suspected it and watching them this whole time. Oliver could kind of suspected it because the Web sent him to wake up Jon. But Jared here?

JARED: "[S’right.] Don’t really matter now, does it?" JON: "No. No, it doesn’t." Yeah, blaming someone doesn't change anything about the situation that resulted from it.

JARED: "Alright. Well, I’d like to hear about my garden." It's so funny how that somehow inspires, what? Sympathy? Compassion? Pity? in me. Like he loves that place, it means something to him and he wants to hear its beauty one last time. Aside from the plants being human beings suffering, it does sound peaceful here, birds, wind chimes...

"The soil should be prepared first, a rich and earthy cocktail of insecurity and self-hatred that allows the roots to twist and contort freely. The temperature should be kept the steady, humid warmth of air conditioners struggling to cope with the perspiration of a dozen bodies pushing themselves too hard, while the lights must be kept at a harsh, fluorescent glare." Pushing yourself at fitness studios to fit a certain beauty standard? Sounds like it to me.

"Counterintuitively, growth is most effective when the orchid is suffering from aggressive dehydration, and it is vitally important that the air roots be rarely praised, and only for the flowers’ appearance and growth." Yeaaah, sounds even more like body building. And this one is called Fortisium Reese, fortis meaning strong, fortisium also sounds a bit like fortissimus, the superlative of fortis. Dehydration is commonly used to get rid of that bit of subcutaneous water, so the muscles can be even better visible under the skin. And then the only thing that matters is appearance and ever more and more muscles.

"While the Gristlebloom Orchid may be the most eye-catching of the plants that you will find in the mortal garden, the Bone Rose is perhaps the most delicate. Thin and brittle, it is constantly on the verge of collapsing under its own weight, even as its ossified stems reach and twist and stretch in a desperate attempt for closeness." Beauty-standard super-skinny, Gracillium Patricia, gracilis - thin.

"At the final, glorious culmination that a body may someday achieve, the ever-retreating perfections that sit always on the tip of a knife. But also growing with the flower must be that other dread: Not of perfection to be hunted, but of decay to be fled." Plastic surgery? Decay to be fled - fear of aging? Secarium Leopold, secare - to cut.

"This is Maeve’s nightmare. There is no other word for it. To be trapped, unmoving, within the body that has betrayed her so often, feeling every sensation as it grows and warps and sprouts, never knowing what new mutation it will visit on her next." Ya, same. 

JARED: "Is it really that bad? Seeing what I’ve done here? Or – (heh) Is it maybe that deep down, you think it’s as beautiful as I do?" JON: (*snapping*) "Shut up!" Not willing to let those who he considers a monster know how he feels about it though.

MARTIN: "Are you okay?" JON: "I’m – (*not great*) Great. You?" Martin probably asked because it does seem to take Jon a bit of effort to call upon the Eye to shift its gaze, since he gasped there, when Jared was successfully deleted from existence. But Jon gets all snappy and defensive. Saying he's great when he isn't. He probably expected to feel great, or at least better, but it's doing nothing. Revenge doesn't give him the satisfaction he hopes it would.

MARTIN: (bit of a laugh) "I really thought this one would be messier." JON: "What do you mean?" MARTIN: "Well I mean – he’s a Flesh – thing, right? I thought he’d be all meat and blood and gore and all that." JON: (bit of a laugh) "Apparently not." MARTIN: "He didn’t even put up a fight." JON. "No." Right after Jude who was resisting really hard, trying to convince Jon to let her live, help his revenge arc even, Jared here just accepted what's coming for him. That probably contributed to rethinking the smiting.

MARTIN: "Jon – we are doing good, right? Making things better?" [THE SLIGHTEST OF PAUSES.] JON: "I don’t know if that was ever an option." The smiting is just a selfish act, Jon letting his anger getting the better of him, blinding him.

@a-mag-a-day

[inkofamethyst]

September 6, 2023

Actual goals for this school year:

Stay within my monthly budgets (I'll give september a pass if needed)

Take a programming course (in R or Python probably)

Go to fitness classes both to stay fit and to meet people

Maintain connections with interesting people (pretend to be the fearless extrovert)

Try at least one new recipe each month (again, september gets a pass)

Decorate my room

Go to symposia and talks in various departments; bask in the intellectual community

Read for fun or listen to audiobooks on occasion

No studying while eating (exceptions include: exam in 48 hours or less, expected reading due in 24 hours or less)

These are more like "additional" goals, I guess, since I would indeed like to become hotter, weirder, richer, more terrifying, and more unpredictable. I know I should become richer and I'm always on the trajectory to become weirder, but I may have to put work into the other three.

A wise man on tiktok once said "not every day can be a slay" and you know what? He was right. Sometimes it's totally worth having a chill day where you just don't put massive amounts of thought into your life. Yes, romanticizing the little moments feels good. But if it requires more mental energy than I can reasonably give that day, then it's not worth it. Same goes for outfits and meals and all sorts, really. It's actually something I've been putting into practice long before I'd heard it put into those words. Granted, a day of "non-slay" might look different for everyone. But it doesn't mean that I'm a failure for deciding to wear leggings or sweatpants on a day when I really just can't be arsed.

When I was talking to that random dude the day before school started, I told him that this school year felt different. He asked why and I had to say that I couldn't really put my finger on it. That was a lie. I just didn't want to make our lighthearted conversation into a therapy session. In fact, I could place not just a finger, but all of my fingers and some of my toes on it. 1. far away from home for an extended period 2. the whole thing with ~~~elite~~~ education (not imposter syndrome, more like the internal and personal discomfort of contributing to a system of hierarchies (the same way that race is a human construct that isn't really real but the effects of racism are real? academic elitism is socially constructed but has real effects (and you know ultimately this may not matter because the academic job market sucks and I may not be offered find a position (that I like bc why not be picky) in the first place lol))) 3. feeling very young 4. feeling ungrounded because, unlike the rest of my cohort, I came up here a week before school started and moved in merely days prior, so I wasn't nearly as grounded in my space as I would liked to have been. There's probably some other things that I just can't conjure up right now.

Full disclosure, most of the above comes from before school started. I'm not swamped with work, not exactly, but I certainly haven't had much time to devote to journaling (tbh this is exactly the time that I should be journaling). I don't really know where all of my hours are going (and maybe it's just the school adjustment period, it is only the second day, after all). I'll do a full recap sometime later. Ultimately: I'm doing okay.

Today I'm thankful that I'm doing okay.

Last thing: considering auditioning for/joining a choir. It's mostly undergrads, though they take grad students. It seems like a dope program. But there's a musical theatre one (also mostly undergrads lol) that also seems cool. It's been a long while since I've done MT. I do miss it, I think. But doing MT covers doesn't make me feel nearly as powerful as singing as part of a symphony :/ I could always go for the real choir some other year if I really wanted. I'll be here for six or so. I've got time.

I mean I've always wanted to do a musical theatre duet.

This could also just be pre-audition nerves ha.

[redwineconversation]

Wendie Renard France Info Interview (October 26, 2024)

Personally, I love a good and proper chat about Bad Catholics. Between this and the OL Night Systems (which is taking me forever and a day to translate due to how long it is and the fact I have to justify my salary), we are being spoiled for insights into what makes Wendie Renard, well, Wendie Renard. Did Lyon's romanticism come from Amandine Henry molding Lyon into her own image? Did Lyon's killer instincts come from Wendie Renard molding Lyon's image into hers? This team is cool but so not the team for you if you're only interested in which player is fucking (over?) other teammates.

Blah blah standard disclaimers apply; @OL Comms feel free to chip in for my PSL or AC/heat bill, totally fine with either one; I'd say some of you should just get drunk and make out with a random stranger at a bar but considering your parasocial asses you'd just end up boiling a poor innocent bunny afterwards; soy milk > other milk and no I will not hear you out; y'all know the speech by now.

WENDIE RENARD FRANCE INFO INTERVIEW

INTERVIEW. "A lot of things crossed my mind": Wendie Renard confesses to having taken really hard France being knocked out in the quarterfinals at the Olympics

Almost two months after France was knocked out in the quarterfinals at the Olympics, the Martinique native was back with her [French] teammates Friday evening for a game against Jamaica (3-0 win for France). She talks about how yet another disappointment was complicated for her and shows optimism for the future.

At 34 years old, Wendie Renard still has that burning motivation inside her. In love with the round ball, the Martinique native, who integrated the French in 2011 thanks to Bruno Bini, is still chasing her dream of winning a major trophy with the French National Team.

Almost two months after the failure of the 2024 Olympic Games in Paris, the player sat down with an interview with Outre-mer [publication who did the interview]. "I went through a rollercoaster of emotions," confided in us the one who had thought about putting an end to her international career. But "I am still very competitive," she assures.

For this new season with the French National Team, Wendie Renard, who was confirmed as captain, will have a new head coach. "Laurent (Bonadei) took charge to lead the French National Team but has similar expectations for what we had before. I'm eager to start this new project which will lead to the 2025 Euros."

During the interview, the player wanted to show her "support" to Martinique, who has been in crisis mode since the beginning of September. The defender hopes that "they can quickly find a solution." [There have been riots and protests over the high cost of living on the island]

On Friday October 25, for her first international game since the Olympics, she stood out by scoring the second goal in the friendly against Jamaica (3-0 win for France). Something good to launch her quest for international glory.

Outre-mer: How did you experience being knocked out in the quarterfinals at the Olympics?

Wendie Renard: It was really difficult, a lot of things were going through my head in that moment. I really didn't take it well. I experienced the 2019 World Cup at home and the atmosphere was insane, and I said to myself that if I had the opportunity to experience another competition on home soil, we had to win it. [...] The stadiums were full enough to support us and we weren't able to make it through. So, we have the impression it's the same song, same old dance over and over. But in life you have to persevere. There are moments where you fall and you have to get back up.

Did you think about quitting after the Olympics?

As I said, a lot of things were going through my head and obviously that was one of them. But I've never hidden that I want to win a trophy with my country. I'm competitive, I'm always ready to go into a fight, to defend this jersey. And in regards to the new head coach and new staff, I'm ready to give my absolute best with the club, to perform well, so that I can be called up to the National Team.

What is missing with this French team?

If I knew, we would have won ... There is no secret ingredient. Beyond that, we missed a lot of chances, I'm thinking particularly of the 2012 Olympics in London against Japan. We missed chances which could have, in terms of the development of women's football in France, really propelled us forward.

Precisely on that, Hervé Renard (head coach for France between 2023 and 2024) came to bring you to the next level. He didn't manage to do that. What was missing for him?

Hervé had very little time as you know what the conditions were when he arrived (he was selected as head coach after Corine Diacre was fired because of tensions with certain players). So he created something really good, really positive in a short amount of time.

For sure we would have all like, be it the players and staff, to have won a trophy. We saw in Australia during the 2023 World Cup, there were very fine margins when playing the host country. We lost on penalties. I think that where we can have a lot of regrets, it's the Olympics at home. Because once again, we had the possibility of doing something good.

What are your expectations for the new head coach, Laurent Bonadei?

He's someone who already knew us since he was Hervé Renard's assistant coach. He was able to watch us, see the different attitudes. He is someone who was familiar with the French women's national team but also with the men. He also played football. He has a pretty clear project which he has already shared with us. Be it the life project or the sporting project, it's pretty clear. Now it's up to us, the players, to bring it to life.

When he announced his first team list, he confirmed you would be captain. Did he need to do that?

I don't know. You'd have to ask him. After, it doesn't change anything. I've always said when there is a new head coach in the national team or at the club, he obviously has the right to choose whichever captain he wants. So that's something you'd have to ask him. For me it doesn't change anything.

Are you already thinking about the Euros at the end of the season?

It's far way, but we need to work towards it with a lot of humility, especially after the reality check we had this summer. I think we need to just work in our little corner and prepare for the games we are going to have. But it's still far away, a lot of things can happen.

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs The New Employee

Fascinated by the Audrey Hepburn mural in this residential South Korean neighbourhood. Reminds me of the Bob Dylan mural I saw in Kyoto LOL

"The new employee should at least be an assistant manager. What's up with an intern?" To be fair, a lot of people love to cut costs, and interns are very underpaid

"To start working at nine, you should come to work by at least 8:30am." Firstly, no, you don't owe your work any unpaid time. Secondly, how was Seung Hyeon supposed to? He couldn't get in bc none of you gave him a keycard!

"He's good looking." [Gasps and covers mouth] LOL Seung Hyeon

At least Kang Hae is doing some onboarding for Seung Hyeon, even if no one else is

I don't know who this marketing guy is, but I already don't like his vibes based on him interrupting Seung Hyeon's lunch

"If another team asks for your cooperation again like this, ask me first. If I'm not in, tell them to email you and put me as CC." Department Head Kim to the rescue!

LMAO WHY THE NOTEBOOK TUG-OF-WAR?? What kinda weird workplace energy:

" Yu Seong?" "Seung-hyeon?" Weel weel weel, is this the second lead of the series?

"[Rainbow Rice Cake welcomes all sexual minorities]" Not to be Asian and bisexual, but it sincerely gets to me whenever I see Asian media of any kind where gay people just get to like. Exist. Be around, regardless of their importance to the plot. So I love the Rainbow Rice Cake Club:

Also now realizing that when Yu Seong talked about the group he attended and Seung Hyeon immediately cut him off it was because he didn't want to be outed at work, omg

"Do you remember my first love, Jong Seok? He looks just like Jong Seok." Yu Seong is really making the rounds flirting at this table

"You even went to grad school because of that bastard." I really like Ji Yeon, she's great. Also, not him getting a graduate degree because of a cute boy LOL

[In Seung Hyeon's thoughts as he looks at Jong Chan] "I want to you to meet and date a good person." The last few office romances I have seen have been people who were already childhood friends who rediscover each other at the workplace, sometimes as a boss and sometimes not, but as these two are straight-up boss and intern, I'm like: Y'all cute, but also, don't date your boss!

Seung Hyeon's sixty second elevator pitch at the copier on how to improve this ad campaign khgkjgh

"You did this before, too. Why do you keep pushing our intern around?" Jong Chan has no social graces and has had enough of the Marketing Team

Also the way that Jong Chan has been holding onto Seung Hyeon's wrist through this whole interaction. Girl (gender neutral) what are you doing?

"I don't have any, but he has a very good idea, CEO." Jong Chan says my team credits our interns for their ideas!!

I do love the CEO in her pink suit, I hope she's as fun as her outfit

"It's also the worst thing about our company. People at the top get all the credit. Your idea will look like it's mine or even the CEO's, or the company's. And your participation in this project doesn't guarantee a permanent position." I appreciate Jong Chan being really clear about the expectations

The way that Seung Hyeon smiles at like, everything is soooo endearing. He is just a nice man!

"He said, 'Because it's you, Seung Hyeon.' He discounted all other reasons." "Did he confess his feelings to you?" "Not really, but it feels like it." Seung Hyeon said: I will romanticize my own office experiences 🥰🥰

"Hey, isn't Seung Hyeon totally your type?" Still seems like a bold thing to say about his intern, Yu Seong

I'm not going to lie, I wasn't going to even liveblog this show until this drinking interaction, but Jong Chan grabbing the glass out of Seung Hyeon's hand and drinking for him when the person asking is just his homie felt so dramatic I needed to react. Oh my god:

"Not at all. We can't date. Because we're the famous, Rainbow Rice Cakes." [Does the Wave] "Don't listen to her, it's nothing." HAHAHAH Seung Hyeon doing the wave too before he tries to stop Ji Yeon. He couldn't resist!

KJHGKJHHJGKHGK????? Not Jong Chan responding to Seung Hyeon tripping by giving him a little kiss on the cheek

"Don't give it any thought. It was a mistake." How is Seung Hyeon not supposed to think about his boss kissing him???

"I don't even know what I like or what I'm good at. I want to find out what they are." I bet you will, Seung Hyeon!

"Most people think those who make ads are weird and crazy, but I think differently." Jong Chan, with the kindest intent, you are giving at least a little weird and crazy

"I don't think he's a regular player." HAHAH not Seung Hyeon immediately looping Kang Hae into the office gossip

"Director Kim might be trying to form his own clique because time is running out." Why does the Marketing Team do nothing but cause problems? People in marketing pls confirm

Ahhhh, now we know who Yu Seong is, a client of the firm

I hate the marketing team, they need to leave Seung Hyeon alone!!

"Did you come because you were worried?" To be fair, it seems like Jong Chan's worry is entirely merited giving they were forcing to drink by pouring liquor on your head????

An incredibly questionable time to kiss him, but the tiptoes are fun:

Ffkjhfjhfkfh Seung Hyeon at the coffee machine: I don't care what the circumstances were, I LOVE making out with my boss

LMAO @ Kang Hae defining everything that's going on by webtoons. Seems putting a little too fine a point on it

"Who the hell is he? Who was your first kiss? Is he in Planning Team 1? Team 2?" [Seung Hyeon gestures at Kang Hae and her camera] [Ji Yeon screams] I NEED TO KNOW WHERE THIS COMPANY VLOG THAT KANG HAE IS DOING LIVES!!! Why does she think it's fine to film the details of his personal life??

"Then after you get off work, let's go to the movies." No one in this office has any sense of professionalism

Not the voices of Jong Chan's ex-boyfriends haunting him while he waits for his dinner date with Seung Hyeon:

"I won't do anything funny, so relax." [Seung Hyeon smiles and fidgets] [Whispers] "You look like you want me to do something funny." HAHAHAH, I was also thinking this, Jong Chan

"You can't be too quick to discern what's real or not. They could all be true love." [...] "You're amazing." I hope that Kang Hae and Ji Yeon date

Why are all of these people getting their romantic advice from webtoons jkhkgjhfhkjhf HAHA

Seung Hyeon is really incapable of having a poker face for someone with a secret office romance (well, not so secret anymore, now that he did a spit take the first time someone mentioned Jong Chan's name)

I love that the CEO always throws her pen in the air and then chants, "Nice catch" (in English) whenever someone gets it haha

"But to have that kind of rumour suddenly spreading is also a failure on [Jong Chan's] part. He failed to conduct himself properly!" "You're right. We can't let him get away with this." Get away with what? Having a boyfriend?

Jong Chan is ALSO so bad at hiding this romance, given the canoodling at work. They are not beating the office romance allegations:

I love Jong Chan consistently making sure that everyone knows this was Seung Hyeon's idea!!!

I imagine Mr. Sold Out's instagram post ft. Office Romance Boys is only going to add fuel to the fire for Jong Chan's clique rumours

"It's okay. Work is your priority. I want to understand things that are important to you." Seung Hyeon is the cutest man alive

"Let's do this once we closer." "How do I get closer to you? By being more caring?" Alright, you've sold me on the boss-employee romance. I tried to hold out because it's not the best idea, but they are soooo sweet

You see, I THINK the white undershirt is supposed to give sexual encounter, but Cherry Magic tricking me has made me doubtful that it could just be a sleepover

Omg, did Seung Hyeon leave just because he saw Yu Seong's pen in the bedroom? Couldn't he have just borrowed a pen from him?? Or was it a gift from Seung Hyeon?

"He looked so excited to get his lover the fountain pen engraved with his initials." OHHHH, it's because Yu Seong and and Jong Chan may have dated

(I do think Seung Hyeon is being a little unreasonable about it by just not talking to him. But, it's his first relationship, so I get it)

Also. Yi Jeon scream-crying along with Seung Hyeon in solidarity. Bestie behaviour

"It doesn't matter who he dated in the past either. A relationship is led by two people. You two are dating for the first time, so it's important to get to know each other." Solid advice from Yi Jeon

"I'm too caught up in my love life these days. I'm so unprofessional." When ur right, ur right, Seung Hyeon

Couple's Counselling in the Communal Supply Closet:

"How am I supposed to interpret it if you leave like that after spending the night together?" Again, I would like some clarity on the night together

"We dated for a bit. Of course, I have no feelings for him anymore. You know how small the dating pool is in our world. It's normal to stay friends with your ex." Well-communicated and true

Okay, no need to call Seung Hyeon's feelings a "pathetic crush," Jong Chan

"Why can't people be cool about this?" Oh, like YOU were cool about it by lambasting him an office supply closet

"I could be more understanding about it since it's his first relationship." Yes, you could!

HAHAHAH THE CAT TEXTING ON JONG CHAN'S BEHALF:

I really did think that the cat text was going to move the plot along

Team Leader Choi is blaming Seung Hyeon for the retreat booking falling through even though he didn't have another card to pay it with??? This workplace takes no responsibility for anything LOL

Also, the flat bangs do a lot of work in making Jong Chan look younger. They're only 5 years apart but the office look ages him

"But I want to understand you from now on. I can't take away the heartbreak from when you had to pick out that damn fountain pen, but I'll do my best to make you think that all the heartache with Yu Seong led you to me. Could you give me another chance to get closer to you?" Awww, that's a nicer approach

Also, Jong Chan to himself: I can only emotionally advance my relationship when one of us has been drinking

"I'll be more honest from now on.""It's okay to fight. We can just work it out together." We love a communication

The flirt texting at the work retreat with all of their coworkers between them LOOOOL

Truly they are as subtle as a flying brick, their coworkers are literally right there:

"You can call me 'Hyeong.'" I know that some people do actually do this, but I will never understand people using brother/sister honorifics/suffixes in romantic contexts!!! It is not for me!! You will NEVER catch me didi/dada-ing a partner

Hahahaha, the way they both nerd out over the ads they watch

"I'll apply for the Planning Team. The Strategic Planning Team could be a better fit for me, but I want to try for the Planning Team. It's my first time discovering what I think I can do well and work hard on." Go Seung Hyeon!!!

"Do you believe in me?" [Pushes boyfriend into pool] HAHAHA

Screaming at them using this pool shenanigan to hide from their coworkers bothering them after work:

Awwwww Jong Chan sharing his good luck talisman with Seung Hyeon for his interview

"Unfortunately, we are not able to hire you this time." Wow, realistic but harsh. What are the chances it has anything to do with him dating his boss?

"I think Department Head Kim is trying to start something in the company with that kid beside him." Ohhhhh nothing to do with their actual relationship, everything to do with clique accusations and Marketing Team Being Jerks

Team Leader Choi asking about Seung Hyeon's results like he didn't sabotage him!!!!!! Ass.

"Aigo, just how badly did you mess up?" Team Leader Choi, I will bite you

"I guess I expected too much. They took me in as an intern, so I thought I could become a full-time employee as well." Kang Hae didn't get in EITHER? This company is so rude to their interns

"I'm not doing this as your boyfriend. I think this company really needs you." Jong Chan <3

They are both so sad and mad about the interview sabotage :((((((

Ohhhhhh, so this is the purpose of the vlogging! They're going to make a short film on their internship experience for closure

"A video I made with leftover footage. Watch it when you feel down." Money's on boyfriend vlog

"But I heard this intern didn't get in." "Why?" I hope AR Communications eats some humble pie after all this!!!!

Does Mr. Sold Out watching the video mean he will hire Seung Hyeon for internal marketing? I hope so

"I, Kim Jong Chan, would like to make an offer to Wu Seung Hyeon, the most passionate man when it comes to ads, as the head of JS Planning, a start-up company." OMGGGGG I kinda figured Jong Chan was going to quit (or at least threaten to), but I didn't think they'd start working together. This is the kind of boss-dating that is sustainable, starting a business with your boyfriend!

"I lo- l-love-" "Do you love me?" "That wasn't romantic at all." CUTE

HAHAHA Team Leader Choi being demoted for causing problems in the recruitment process

Jong Chan hired Ji Yeon and Kang Hae too!! BUDDY BUSINESS

Also, I have just learned that the movie has additonal scenes so running commentary on those now:

LOL @ THEM putting in a car scene after the cheek kiss just for it to be them sitting in silence

The movie confirms that White Undershirt WAS an indication of sex. Good for them!

I love them all (and I still want Ji Yeon and Kang Hae to date):

[bootsandboots2]

.

[lesbianrobin]

I had to add a few things for size purposes, but here’s a Bingo Board I generated through that post you made.

SCREAM oh my god "i wish you were a girl" is the bane of my existence and completely ignoring all of steve and eddie's other relationships SO TRUE!!!

seriously though the "i wish you were a girl" thing is like genuinely Disgusting to me. i realize it's a reference to a movie but it's so strange to me how people take that line and shove it into steddie fics for like. no fucking reason besides to fetishize and romanticize homophobia. like sorry but personally as a gay person if a girl i liked told me "i wish you were a boy" i'd probably throw up and kill myself. the fact that people are using that as like something romantic is insane and FURTHERMORE it feels like such a heterosexual understanding of gay attraction. like i get that not all gay experiences are monolithic but it would never occur to me to wish a girl i liked was a boy because like. then she wouldn't be the girl i like. it's so GROSS to be like damn i wish my crush were just like totally different to make things easier for me. like HUH???

like i just. idk it's weird and gross to me how much people like to use internalized homophobia in steddie fic considering that eddie is like proud of being a freak and steve is a supportive ally who's experienced a lot of weird shit and isn't phased by much of anything anymore and is generally very in touch with his emotions. like it isn't something that springs naturally from the characters it's something shoved onto them because for whatever reason the fic author wants to write about gay people hating themselves and being sad lmao

[weirdcultstuff]

i just reliazed youre ex amish. i feel like theres very little talk or exposure on how cultish that group is. even the wiki pages seem extremely positive and ismissive of any criticism of how kids are raised in the group and how hard it is to leave. do you have any idea od why that is? also, are there groups out there aimed at helping ex or questioning amish people?

Good questions!! The romanticizing of the Amish is incredibly frustrating to me. It just adds a huge layer of difficulty when trying to communicate across the cultural/societal barriers between the Amish community and the rest of the world. It’s also worth noting that some communities are definitely waaay more cultish than others, some are pretty benign and some are more abusive: it’s a good idea to tread lightly if you interact with any Amish people and don’t know what their specific community is like.

From my former Amish perspective, the romanticized view was positive because it:

Encourages tourism, which can be a big money maker in larger communities, and that’s important when there are lots of rules about not getting jobs outside the group and avoiding a lot of more modern/efficient ways to do things.

Makes the non-Amish world look that much more alien to group members, making it that much less likely they’ll leave.

Gives the community protection in the form of “religious freedom.” In the event that any problems come to public view (a sexual assault, money embezzlement, child abuse, etc.) there’s a very good chance that the Amish community leaders will be able to convince the local government to let them handle it internally.

I can’t say I fully understand the history or how it happened that now it’s a totally normal thing for people to take trips “to Amish country” to buy cheese and quilts and ogle everybody and their kids, or take pictures of Amish people just living their lives. I definitely experienced a lot of discomfort with the romanticism, personally. I hated having my picture taken in Walmart with my sisters, I hated feeling “dumb” because of all the stereotypes. It definitely made it much harder to leave. It makes it much more difficult to talk about my experiences now that I’m out, when the first reaction is jokes about how the Amish are harmless oddities or fascination with random things like food or hairstyles.

It’s absolutely wild to me that Amish kids are LEGALLY only required to be in school until 9th grade and nobody bats an eye about it.

Anyway, I’m rambling. I’m definitely not an expert on the Amish, I’d be very curious to see other answers to why the romanticism exists! Your second question is a little easier to answer, there are very few resources that I know of, but here are some links:

The Amish heritage foundation is fighting to overthrow Wisconsin V. Yoder, in order to improve access to education for Amish kids. They also help some ex Amish people get documented and get on their feet.

This is a very small website (lgbtamish.com) that has stories from mostly ex Amish lgbt+ people. I cried a lot when I first found it.

The Plain People’s Podcast is a podcast by ex Amish and Mennonite people, telling their own stories without any tv networks writing the scripts. 🙃 I think it provides great context to understand how there are so many very different groups within the Amish and Mennonite communities, some more problematic than others. And of course it’s great that it’s people telling their own stories.

There are so few resources, there may be more in any given community, I don’t know. When I left, I had no idea how to really use things like public libraries, or how to apply for low income housing, or homeless shelters, or how to use local transportation systems-I didn’t even know some of these things existed. These links are to specifically ex amish resources, but there are also ex-cult resources like Stephen Hassan’s Freedom of Mind Resource Center, etc.

There is definitely a need for awareness and resources, it’s a really difficult area to address. Outsiders, especially local governments, struggle to balance cultural sensitivity and religious freedom with a need to address issues like the lack of education or allegations of abuse within the community.

BASICALLY I CAN KEEP RAMBLING BUT THE WHOLE THING IS SUPER HECKIN COMPLICATED AND TOOK GENERATIONS TO GET THIS WAY AND I DONT FULLY UNDERSTAND IT OR HOW TO HELP. But your questions are very good, you get five gold stars and I’d love to hear anyone else’s responses to them too! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[onigiri-dorkk]

Yesterday was so damn fun. First off I want to say that my husband and I have had such a terrible few days after the car accident — it has been stressful making calls, filling out forms, etc all while knowing I quite literally almost died. (I finally saw a doc yesterday and she confirmed I am totally okay, and that I really just got lucky. Wow)

We knew we needed something to give us a sense of excitement and normalcy again. So yesterday, I busted out my Rivamika shirt, wore my Scouts jacket, threw on my red scarf, and gave my husband this fanfic prep presentation 😭 He was DYING laughing when I came out w the outfit!

I told him about my fanfic, and that there is info he needs to know and learn before reading my story. He was SO excited 😂 When I got to the part about Ackerman’s being Titan DNA experiments (which is not a spoiler to an anime-only; they just chose not to animate it for some reason?) he was pretty much mind blown. I even presented Isayama’s family tree and explained the entire history of Ackermans to Subjects of Ymir to Eldians to clarify that Levi and Mikasa are not closely related, they aren’t cousins, Mikasa’s dad is not linked to Kenny/grandpa, and emphasized the 145+ generations between the start of Ackermans and the final two: Mikasa and Levi.

Moving on! After the presentation part 1, I sent him the link to my story. Forgetting that AO3 is not a familiar platform to all, he ended up reading all the tags right up front and he gasped and said “SEXUAL TENSION?” 😂 I had fun explaining to him I took this story to a much more Mature storyline to make it more believable and movie-like. He was excited 😂

Then he read the summary!! And after he did he was like “OHHHHHHH so this is why you had to clarify that they’re not linked!” I said YESSSS

The next 20 mins of him reading my first chapter was a pain in the butt because I had to refrain from wanting to stare at his face/reactions 😭😂 But after he was done he had a huge smile on his face. Basically told me he loves it (and I was forcing him to be totally honest w me) and he said that he is so impressed with how it’s written. (He is reading a League of Legends novel right now and expressed that my style of writing is comparable… basically he said he didn’t expect it to be so well written 🥺). He said he’s hecka proud of me and can’t wait to read the rest. He also said that his favorite parts were their internal dialogues, and my descriptions — he said I am a romantic (in a good way) and that the romanticism comes out 😭 I said “is it too cheesy for you?” and he said no he LOVES it 😭

I asked him if he was shocked that I ship Levi and Mikasa, and he actually (to my surprise) said yes! Only because he knows that when I’m passionate about something, I talk about it — but this, he’s only maybe heard me mention something about it once in passing. I don’t totally know his full personal thoughts about the ship dynamic just yet, but this is where my Presentation Prt 2 comes in �� Where I give explanation to why exactly I ship Levi and Mikasa, their relationship dynamic, canon panels and scenes of them, their parallels!

I also asked for fun “did you kind of get that I don’t ship Mikasa with Eren” and he said “Oh, YEAH. I’ve always known you hated how he treats her and stuff” 😂 I said “right? Don’t you think Mikasa deserves better????” (He also said he caught on to this because of how much I ship Eren x Historia lolol so he figured I don’t love Eren x Mikasa)

He also said “now when we rewatch AoT especially season 4, I’m gonna see Levi and Mikasa as really close/he loves her” 😭

That was the much needed fun of yesterday. It feels so good to finally have him read something I worked so hard on. We’re very transparent w each other so I felt like this was a side of myself I’ve had to hide from him, which felt very unusual. But the fact that he gets to enjoy it alongside me now is so fun!!

He wants to read one chapter a day to savor it, read comments, etc. So now I’m like awaiting day 6 when he reads the initial ~spice-esque~ scene between Levi and Mikasa 😂 I don’t think he has ever read a line of smut before so we will see what he thinks Day 15 LOOOL. I think he’ll be shocked but I think he’ll enjoy it 😂

Anyway, just wanted to share the experience with y’all LOLOLOL maybe I’ll write a series of his reactions to the chapters/story. New hashtag? #onigirihusband ?? 😂

[therealvinelle]

I've always wondered this, but what do you think the Cullen's political viewpoints would be, given their individual backgrounds? if vampires don't change after they turn, then surely they would all be extremely racist (especially Jasper). would this not come up at some point? they aren't like the Volturi because the Volturi are too old to care, but the Cullens are young enough that they have been brought up with opinions on stuff like sexism, racism, homophobia and the like.

Oh fuck.

You get an early answer because otherwise I'll just chicken out and delete this one, pretend I never saw it.

UMMM.

Since I'm guessing you meant American political viewpoints, we need a disclaimer. I am not American, and not too knowledgeable about your politics. Not just in the sense that I don't follow the day-to-day drama, but as I am not an American citizen there are several things I don't know, can't know because I've never lived in your country and therefore can't know what the effects of living in a country ruled by American policies is like. What I do know is based off of the news in the foreign section, social media (by which I mean tumblr posts), and Trevor Noah's Daily Show.

I am an outsider looking in.

Which is really rather appropriate, since the Cullens are too.

The Cullens go to high school and college, Carlisle works, they pay taxes, they own real estate, and submerge themselves in American culture. Esme, Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, and Bella are young enough that this is in many ways their world, and apart from timeouts they've more or less spent their entire lives, human and vampire, integrated into American society.

Not fully integrated, mind you, they do what they need to to fit in and get to school or, in Carlisle’s case, to work. They go no further. No extra-curriculars for the kids, no book clubs for Esme, no game nights for Carlisle. They walk parallel to humans, not among us.

In addition to this they're obscenely rich, which puts them another thousand miles from the experiences of your average American. They won't deal with the health system, which means healthcare is a non-issue, they're not going to need welfare or other social programs, unemployment is another non-issue. Name your issue, and the Cullens don't have personal stake in it. Even the climate crisis won't be a problem for them the way it will for us.

What I'm trying to say is, American political issues are a concept to them, not a lived reality. Just like they are for me. So hey, you made a great choice of blog to ask.

I'll also add here that you say the Volturi are too old to care, and I agree- from an ancient's point of view, racism is a matter of "which ethnicity are we hating today?", and it all looks rather arbitrary after a while. Same with every other issue - after a while it all just blends together into "what are the humans fighting over today? Which Christian denomination is the correct one? Huh. Good for them, I guess."

I can't put it any better than this post did, really. The Volturi are real people, humans are nerds and tumblr having Loki discourse. Aro thinks it's delightful and knows entirely too much about Watergate (and let's be real, Loki discourse as well), but the point I wanted to get at is that politics really don't matter to vampires.

And I don't think they matter to the Cullens either.

So, moving on to the next point while regretting I didn't put headlines in this post, I'll just state that I don't think vampires' minds are frozen. Their brains are unable to develop further, and they can never forget anything, but... well, this isn't the post for that, but in order for this to be true of vampires they would barely be sentient. They would not be able to process new impressions, to learn new things, nor to have an independent thought process. Yes, we see vampires in-universe (namely, Edward, who romanticizes himself and vampires) believe they're frozen and can never change, but there is no indication that this is a widespread belief, or even true. Quite the contrary - Carlisle went from a preacher's son who wanted to burn all the demons to living in Demon Capital for decades and then becoming a doctor and making a whole family of demons. Clearly, the guy has had a change in attitude over the years. Jasper, in his years as a newborn army general, slowly grew disenchanted with his life and developed depression. James initially meant to kill Victoria and hunted her across the earth, then became fascinated and changed his mind about it.

Had these people been incapable of change, Carlisle would still be hating demons, Jasper would be in Maria's army, and James would still be hunting Victoria.

It goes to follow, then, that they are able to adapt to new things.

The question is, would they?

Here I finally answer your question.

So, we have these people who don't really have any kind of stake in politics, who keep up to date all the same (or are forcibly kept up to date because high school) and are generally opinionated people.

Where do they then fall, politically?

(And this is where you might want to stop reading, anon, because I'm about to eviscerate these people.)

Alice votes for whoever's gonna win. She also makes a fortune off of betting each election. Trump's 1 to 10 victory in 2016 was a great day to be Alice. MAGA!

The actual policies involved are completely irrelevant, she does this because it's fun. Election means she gets to throw parties. Color coded parties for the Republican and Democratic primaries, and US-themed parties for Election Night! (Foreigner moment right here: I at first wrote "Election wake" before realizing that's not what y'all murricans call it.)

Alice loves politics. Doesn't know the issues, but she sure loves politics.

Bella votes Democrat. She actually knows about the issues, and cares about them. This girl is a Democrat through and through.

Carlisle doesn't vote. I can't imagine it feels right. Outside of faked papers he's not a US citizen, this is meddling in human affairs that he knows don't concern him.

More, this guy has never lived in a democracy.

In life, Carlisle lived under an absolute monarchy that, upon civil war, became an absolute theocracy. From there he learned that vampires live under a total dictatorship.

For the first 150 years of his life, democracy was that funky thing the Athenians did in history books thousands of years ago, no more relevant to him than the Ancient Egyptian monarchy is to me. Then the Americans, and later other European countries started doing this.

Good for them.

There's this mistake often made by those who view history from a... for lack of a better term, a solipsistic standpoint. A belief that the present day is the culmination of all of history. “My society is the best society, the most reasonable society; all the others had it backwards. Thank god we’re living in this enlightened age!”

The faith in our current system of government is one such belief. We (pardon me if this doesn’t apply to everybody reading this post) have grown up in democracies, being told this is the ultimate form of rule, and perhaps that is true - but remember the kings who have told their subjects they had were divine and the best possible ruler based on that. Remember also that most modern democracies haven’t actually been democracies for very long at all, America is the longest standing at some 230 years (not long at all in the grand scope of things) and they have a fracturing two-party system to show for it.

Every society, ever, has been told they’re the greatest, and their system of government the most just. Democracy is only the latest hit.

This is relevant to Carlisle because he’s immortal and decidedly not modern. Democracy has not been installed in him the way it was the rest of the Cullens, Jasper included. To him- well, it’s just not his world. He has no stakes in our human politics, and as he is older than every current democracy and has seen quite a few of them fall, he’s not going to internalize the democratic form of rule the way a modern human has.

I think the concept of voting is foreign to him.

It requires a level of participation in human society that he’s simply not at. He does the bare minimum to appear human so he do the work he loves, but nothing more, and I find that telling.

As it is I think he'd be iffy about his family doing it. He won’t stop them, but in voting they’re... well it’s kind of cheating. They’re not really citizens, none of this will affect them, and by voting they’re drowning out the votes of real human voters. He does not approve.

Edward votes Democrat. He's... well he’s the kind of guy who will oil a girl’s bedroom window so he can more easily watch her sleep without being discovered, justifying it to himself as being okay because if she were to tell him to get lost he’d stop immediately. Same guy is so sure that he’d leave and never return again if she wanted him to, except this is the man who returned to Forks to hang around his singer, knowing there was a significant chance he might kill her. To say nothing of his Madonna/Whore complex, or of the fact that he tried to pimp out his wife twice, and was willing to forcibly abort her child.

This guy is very much in love with chivalry, with being an enlightened and feminist man who supports and respects women, while not understanding the entire point of feminism, which is female liberation.

He votes Democrat because he’s such an enlightened feminist who cares about women’s rights.

Emmett doesn’t care to vote, but if he has to he votes Republican. The guy is from the 1930′s, and has major would-be-the-uncle-who-cracks-racist-jokes-if-he-was-older vibes.

Esme doesn’t vote, that would require getting out of the house.

More, I just... can’t see it. I can’t see her being one to read up on politics and The Issues, period, but if she has to then I doubt she’d be able to decide.

Jasper doesn’t vote. Alice can have her fun, he does not care.

There’s also the whole can of worms regarding the last time he went to bat for American politics.

I imagine he stays out of this.

Renesmée doesn't vote. She has no stock in the human affairs. Who would she vote for, on what grounds? When Bella tries to pull her to the urns, she points out that she's three years old.

Rosalie, guys, I’m sorry, but that girl is definitely gonna vote Republican. Perhaps not right now as it’s become the Trump party of insanity, but the Mitt Romney type of Republicans? Oh yes.

And for the record, yes I imagine she does vote. To step back from politics would be another way she was relinquishing her humanity, and that’s not allowed to happen. So, yes, she goes to the urns, less for the sake of the politics involved and more because like this, she’s still a part of society in some way.

Now, onto why I think she’s Republican, I think it’s both fiscal and social.

This girl was the daughter of a banker who somehow profited off of the Depression, and who then became part of a family with no material needs that would soon become billionaires thanks to Alice. Poverty to Rosalie is a non-issue, as it is I imagine she views it as a much lesser issue than what she’s had to deal with. The humans can pull themselves up by their bootstraps, Rosalie’s infertility is forever.

Rosalie’s empathy is strongest when she’s able to project onto others, and she won’t be able to project onto the less fortunate at all.

Then there’s the fact that the Republican party is all about traditional family values, and pro-life.

Rosalie, a woman from the 1930′s who idolizes her human life and who‘d love nothing more than to get to live out this fantasy, is down for that. And as of Breaking Dawn she’s vocally pro-life, so there’s that.

This all being said I don’t think Rosalie cares to sit down and fully understand these politics she’s voting for, the possible impact they’ll have- that’s not important. What’s important is what voting does for her.

TL;DR: I bet anon regrets asking.

[some27-url]

Writer Chat Tag Game!

Some spoilers for my writing below!

I was tagged by @possumteeths 😗

What us your total posted wordcount on AO3?

307,786

Do you have a routine for writing?

I've dabbled with different ways to get *in the zone* and actually put out good words without getting derailed, but there isn't anything solid. My best performing routine is: put baby down to sleep, IMMEDIATELY lock self in a room away from husband and animals, chug a coke zero and eat two pieces of candy. This almost always results in me managing to start really writing within, like, an hour and a half? Which means I'll get in like 45 minutes of actually writing before it's time to take care of the baby again.

What are your favorite tropes/pairings

Bodyguard romance, ofc

And there was only 👏 one 👏 bed 👏

Unrequited love that's actually totally requited.

Pairings where one person romanticizes the other to the point that they miss/ignore enormous red flags, hopefully making the reader a little uncomfortable :) like with Princess Leo being an unrepentant liar and Deacon literally killing innocent people to protect Whisper from an imagined danger. (He has to be sure though, right?) I guess I just like to show that you never quite know what someone else is thinking and that anything can happen and that the world is a spooky place.

Do you have a favorite fic of yours?

Deacon/Whisper might be my current fave. RJ and Leo will always hold a special place in my heart, though.

Your fic with the most kudos?

Inclusions is at 169! Weee!

Anything you don't like about your writing?

Some of the background characters are flatter than I'd like. I try to write them as if I had a binder full of backstory workd out for each one without actually having a binder full of backstory worked out for each one, which means that... well, continuity can be a nightmare at times and so not everyone gets the best treatment I can give.

I also wish I could be more descriptive, I just have a hard time knowing what to include. I try to include as little as possible bc nothing turns me off to a reading experience faster than like a fit check followed by an in-depth description of their appearance followed by the precise degree of the angle at which they have cocked their hip out like!! No one is going to notice all that about someone unless they are fucking creepily obsessive with zero tact!! For someone to notice every thing about every outfit and every setting and every expression all the time? It's an automatic DNF in my mind. Too much mental work for me to imagine things precisely the way the author sees it and I have to assume I'm not the only one that feels that way so i dont write that way... But still I could stand to paint a clearer picture at times. Just because I know where the desk is in the room doesn't mean everyone does, etc.

Oh and too many of my sentences start with nouns/pronouns. That is something I specifically look for in later stages of editing but sometimes it's like pulling teeth to fix because, again, I have an almost pathological aversion to detail.

Now something you do like?

Something I've really focused on improving and which I feel I've improved a great deal is pacing during sex scenes. It's hard to draw out the prose long enough to make the reader really live in the moments that are... simple but repetitive? Lol. But it's something that bothered me enough about the first scenes I wrote that I honed in on the skill and I feel like I write some damn good stuff now! Even if it's kinda fucked up sometimes! And it's funny bc I decided to start writing fanfic unsure that I would even write any smut at all. I thought I'd be too embarrassed and I looked at writing fic as a way to develop skill so I could write original YA fiction someday. HA!!

Also, allowing the narrator's internal voice to bleed into their dialogue the way i do is something that I am very proud of bc it's what's allowed me to even write words in the first place. It was the change in my approach to writing that allowed me to actually complete and be proud of a scene for the first time, and I feel like its sort of unique and therefore engaging, so... Win/win.

I am tagging @danses-with-dogmeat and @twosides--samecoin and @pumpkinov !

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

Why Cullen?

Today I bring you a post I’ve been in the process of mentally drafting for a while, a post that essentially analyzes the age old question in the Dragon Age fandom: Why is there always something with Cullen?

To do this, I am going to go through different “phases” of Cullen discourse. My thesis and answering the titular question: It’s complicated, and I don’t think I can answer “Why Cullen,” but “there’s sometimes recycled discourses made about his character through the years, maybe there’s a pattern.” When it comes to Cullen’s detractors, I understand the fact that it might be frustrating to see much content for someone so “boring” when there’s more “interesting” and “well done” characters (though interest is of course relevant) so it leads to a lot of vitriol from both new and old fans who think the man had too much screen time already. Furthermore, he is highly complicated man dressed as a Disney prince, and the “Disney-esque” feel of his romance creates a dissonance between coming to terms with his problematic past and reveling in the romanticism. We can have a happy medium everyone,  but because of what I can only describe as “tik tok thought” it’s become looked down upon to have problematic favorites, which leads to guilt in liking something problematic, or outright revisionism.

But liking things with problematic elements doesn’t make you a bad person.

Alright, let’s begin: 

The first phase truly began of course with DAO with Cullen’s crush on the female Circle Mage Warden. Some were endeared, others not so much. I cannot speak to this phase too much as I was around 15-16 and pretty preoccupied with my high school drama instead of fandom, though I played both DAO and DA2 upon it’s release and followed updates for DA2 before it came out. Despite not being an active fandom member I was what they would call, a lurker. I knew some people liked Cullen and thought he was cute, wishing for more screen time after the game and hoping he’d be in DAI through IMDB message boards (remember those?) and YoutTube comments. When news broke he’d be an advisor in DAI and a romance option, I remember seeing a lot of people in those same spaces rejoice. I’m sure there were also people who weren’t so pleased, but from what I saw, people were happy. When Inquisition did release, I actually did quite a bit more lurking on tumblr despite the fact I didn’t have a blog, because I played the romance route, really gravitated toward it, and wanted to see fanart and such. People liked the romance, liked his arc and how Bioware handled his struggles with lyrium; and found it realistic. Even in my lurking days I did see some blowback on Cullen from detractors, those who didn’t think he should have been the military advisor (which canonically it makes total sense to me why he’s where he’s at, but I won’t get into it here however.) But likely because I wasn’t fully “in fandom,” my surface level understanding of how tumblr felt about Cullen was relatively positive and there was only standard fare discourse.

Phase 2: I can speak about this phase better because I established this blog in 2017. Two years after DAI was released, you still had a lot of fans who loved his romance and character, but you also saw a lot of those fans really dive into his flaws, insisting even that just focusing on the Disney Prince aspects of him reduced his character. There were also more internal debates. Would realistically Cullen be a good father was one. One thing however was for sure, there was a strange them and us line between detractors and fans, and to many fans, myself included, oftentimes the Cullen blowback would extend beyond the valid, “hey I don’t think his characterization was handled well” or “his redemption arc isn’t that great” to outright vitriolic hate that blatantly ignored his PTSD and lyrium addiction, and even sometimes “you just like Cullen because he’s white.” As a POC fan it was a fantastic thing to be accused of. I used to be more involved with discord during this period and I remember a few discussions about this as well. Even those indifferent to Cullen didn’t get it.

Overall, I have to say the air was one where people in Cullen fandom enjoyed all aspects of him, from delving into this troubled past to indulging in the Disney prince aspects of him. It was a happy medium I think, even if occasionally I would see a Cullen fan feel bad for liking him, and feel like they needed to justify it. Heck I even did and still do feel that way sometimes, like I need to justify what I like. But we all come into fandom for different reasons. I come into fandom some days for different things. Sometimes I want smut with my favorite character, other times I want more intense thought pieces and challenging fics. Great thing about fandom is that it’s a bakery that has cherry tarts, cinnamon rolls, or all kinds of pie depending on your mood. Craving a different sweet treat, you can make your own. Or you can commission an artist or writer for something you fancy.

*(sexual assault mentions here late in the paragraph****)And now I’ve been warped back into Cullen/DA fandom through what I am calling phase three, where the general air on Cullen reads as….very different. After having one foot outside DA fandom for a while coming back and reading the air has been different. There was the bizarre nuggetgate and other things with Cullen. Now, instead of accepting his flaws and exploring him there seems to be a lot of revisionism going on, as if his past never happened or we’re supposed to ignore he was a templar. A sexually active Cullen is looked down upon but in a different way from before. Instead of smut works with him “reducing his complicated character.” it’s distasteful to write smut with him where he’s sexually dominant or even just a lot of smut because he was sexually assaulted. (***Now, it is implied that he was, if you are a female Circle mage in DAO, with “sifting through my thoughts, tempting me with the one thing I always wanted but could never have” but this is an implication. I will be honest, it is what I have implied. However, it’s not there if you’re not a female Mage. He was however canonically sexually harassed in the Winter Palace, something I will always argue, even if canon treats it like a joke, even if Leliana tells him to “just look pretty.” Just because he is a man doesn’t make it funny that someone grabbed his bottom, and if you take Cole he flat out says “Cullen is afraid.”***)

So here I am, wondering what changed and what’s going on. Here’s what I believe: Cullen is a complicated character and his flaws and his past make him interesting to me, and they are interesting to explore. However there is nothing wrong with wanting to just explore a romantic, sexual Cullen. He’s a character with many facets. He’s romantic, determined, nostalgic, stubborn, unrelenting, loyal, driven, all things that made him seem so real. Here we get to my theory: in today’s media “criticisms” I see people—particularly younger people—beat themselves up for liking something problematic. It’s like every time you engage with media that’s potentially problematic you have to write essays to yourself why it is so and hold yourself accountable. I see this on tik-tok a lot and why I refer to it as “tik tok thought.” Look at the way some young Hamilton fans talk about the musical, or heck even here, and you may see what I mean. It’s like if you don’t acknowledge the problematic aspects of the historical figures behind their fictional portrayals in the show you’re a bad person. Same thing with nostalgic Disney fans my age in younger, if you don’t clown on Ariel for “choosing a man over anything” (SHE LIKED THE SURFACE WORLD BEFORE SHE MET ERIC) you don’t get your brownie points.

I want to make it clear: being critical of media is good. I am glad I see young people and people my age think about the messages we are given in media, but somehow this is turned into ANALYZE EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Ya’ll I’m a grad student. I’m critical most of the time, when I come to my tumblr blog’s lawn I’m here mostly to have some fun, and hey sometimes my fun is being critical. But sometimes it isn’t. You do not have to always be critical. You do not have to beat yourself up for liking something that’s problematic or write an essay about why it is as if that’s your due diligence in stanning a fictional character. I’m going to be honest I used to kind of think I had to justify my likes once, especially because of the Cullen vitriol on tumblr. I worked overtime in my early fanfic efforts to try to prove to the world I knew Cullen was problematic for fear I’d be perceived as just an idiot horny fangirl. Well, let me tell you: I largely don’t think that way anymore. If I want to just enjoy writing some smut or reading some smut with him, I am. But I think there is a second part of this in Cullen fandom currently, a revisionism of his problematic elements. Now, if you have to do mental gymnastics with a character in an effort to ignore problematic elements, perhaps you don’t like the character that much. That’s totally okay. DA has many awesome characters to write about and stan.

So, why Cullen? For so many reasons a bit of a shit show has always followed this character. There’s a divide between fans and his detractors and sometimes there’s a divide within the Cullen fandom. What I can extrapolate for now is the need to keep him squeaky clean and safe and away from anything “problematic” because his of past, his templar roots, or the fact that he’s white when there are POC characters with less content. It reads as a guilt associated with liking him. But please, do not be guilty. He’s not real. Templars aren’t real, mages aren’t real, Cullen isn’t real. Here’s my advice, something I learned while in my directing class in college. What my teacher always said was direct what turns you on, direct a story that gets you thinking, gets you excited. What gets you thinking and excited in a fictional world may be tons of conflict and dramatics, or it may be peace and love. Sometimes it can be both or more. Don’t shame others for coming to a bakery and wanting blueberry when you want cherry, and the baker has both, especially if the baker labels each pie, especially if the recipe for the pie has some salt in it and people like the salt. We can have it all and enjoy it all. What we want in our fiction doesn’t always align with something we may want real life. Lots of people write Modern girl in Thedas stories. Ya’ll if that actually happened to one of us it would probably suck. I’d probably get killed and not even get to meet Cullen and pose around the desk to get things going, so I’d rather it not happen. However, it is fun to read about.

Again, don’t be guilty for liking Cullen, please. But if you have to do a lot of mental gymnastics to like Cullen, maybe you don’t like him at all. To that I say, there are many other amazing characters, or perhaps you could write your own.

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

OC-tober Day 2: Glass

OC-tober prompts put together by @oc-growth-and-development​! I have to ramble in meta instead of write, because my brain is Mush lately. (I know I’m behind but I have a lot pre-written, I just need to put it into coherent words!)

This one especially can be rambled about at length, because the most important “glass” object in my stories is one I greatly enjoy exploring: Dove’s mindscape mirror!

^ I drew it forever ago; here’s the deviantArt link if you’d like to see the big version! 

https://www.deviantart.com/ravenshiddensoul/art/Dove-s-Keepsakes-Mirror-and-Box-284227087

It’s largely modeled after a bird stretching its wings upwards, with a handle like a tail and certain details are inlaid with Azarathean gold to better channel its magics.

Now, this is where the rambling begins: The mirror’s backstory, and I’ll be exploring one of my favorite things to develop in all of my stories: Dove’s mindscape!

Dove's mirror isn't one of her most prized possessions, nor super incredibly sentimental, but it IS an object touched with her mother's magic, it has flourishes of Azarathean gold (some of the last pieces to exist), and it's useful for introspection and self-soothing, so it does have some value and importance.

Dove struggled with meditating quite a lot as a child, and there was only so much her mother could do to help. Meditation was pretty important to them as both a means of helping Dove control her powers, and as a staple of Azarathean spirituality. As she so often did, Alerina poked around and asked enough questions around the temple that she was told about Raven's mirror, and she decided to replicate it for Dove. She custom ordered a gold-lined wooden hand mirror, and then cast the spells to connect it to Dove's inner world herself. It took a few tries (it's much harder to connect something to someone else's mind than your own, after all), but she was nothing if not determined to help her daughter, and eventually figured it out.

As for its main purpose: Self-reflection! (If you'll pardon the pun.) Dove uses it to meditate, but where Raven uses hers for centering and compartmentalization, Dove uses it more as a blend of escapism and a focusing aid.

Much like Raven's, Dove's mirror acts as a portal to the depths of her mind, and this is where it gets fun!

The vortex that transports the users is usually white and gold, imbued with the same energies that give Dove her powers, at least on her mother's side. It's noticeably touched with black and red in DDD. (Dove's evil side starts taking over her mind, and thus its energies manifest through the mindscape, and Dove's portal into it, hence: black and red energies instead.) It tends to open up like a light tunnel and almost opens the mental world around the user, rather than dragging them in.

Once inside, one can't expect to navigate the same way as Beast Boy and Cyborg did in "Nevermore". Every mind is different, after all! We saw Raven's mindscape divided nearly into emotional sections with a neutral space between them, and the way through each area was preset and linear. While different parts of Dove's internal world manifest in different "areas", they're not so totally divided and separate, and there's no real "neutral" zone except at the very "center". The scenery changes, but it's more of a gradual transition, and though Dove employs thresholds to mark key areas, they're very much just visual aids.

Dove's mindscape is laid out more like a series of rooms and courtyards in a very (very, very, very) large mansion. The ground is generally of crystal, spires and columns decorate the scenery, and the thresholds are modeled after birds with their wings outspread. (While this seems like a play on Dove's namesake, it's actually based on Azarath's architecture, particularly that of George Perez's Azarath in the 1980's New Teen Titans comics.)

Dove's sky shows various stars and often casts moonlight from an uncertain source, particularly when she's introspecting. The ambient temperature varies amongst the locations, chilly in the regions ruled by fear and sadness, uncomfortably warm near her demon's domain, and comfortable and breezy where her peace and contentment reside.

One could easily get lost in her mindscape if they don't know where they're going. The place can shift and change on a whim.

Where Dove spends her time building that peace and contentment, it's very closely modeled after her mother's memories of Azarath (which is where she learned how to find peace, after all): there's marble and gold everywhere, and the stars twinkle with dozens of colors in the sky.

Where Dove retreats when there are feelings of timidity, her excruciating shyness, her grief and doubt, the world becomes shrouded in thick fog. Broken buildings and pale light litter the grounds.

Where she built her love for reading, for history, for creativity and study and learning, it's arranged as rooms with dark marbled tile and a carpeted path, the floor for dozens of feet on either side littered with piles of books.

Dove's inner happy place is an open field on gently rolling hills, where thoughts take the form of birds and somehow the sky holds both the stars and suns. One might find trees, flowers, abstract forms of cottages, and forts loaded with mugs and cozy cushions. If you wander far enough you'll find very tall stone walls surrounding it, because Dove's mind is such that her happiness is one of the few things she really truly believes she needs to protect from the rest of herself.

And then there are the aspects of herself that she shoves the deepest down, secreted far away from the surface: the anger, the hunger for power, the mean streak. (Yes, believe it or not, Dove does have a mean streak! You just have to work especially hard to bring it out. Or trigger her in just the right ways around sadism, violence, war, or death. It's very much Not Recommended; bringing too much of that mean streak out could mean Dove loses control of her powers, or worse: her demonic aspects.)

Those secret forces aren't so much located in one particular space of her mind as they're hidden in every dark corner, coursing through the underside of all the ground, a tantalizing power running through every part of her, only ever set free enough to use the dangerous powers to her own ends.

Her places for Fear and Curiosity in particular will be explored in the upcoming Missing: Raven rewrite. (As they're the strongest things Dove is feeling in that story, that's going to be what Beast Boy and Cyborg encounter.) I also explored the way these things manifest in DDD, and in that same story Dove will focus on rebuilding Peace in the final chapter.

I can't talk about Dove's mindscape without mentioning the "emoticlones". These fun little guys are called by the fanon term given to Raven's "emotion clones", the separate parts of her that express a specific set of traits based on particular aspects of her personality. I had so much fun playing with their voices and thoughts in Dove's head during DDD, you have no freaking idea! I also copied the concept of them having Colored Cloaks from Teen Titans canon, because honestly it's a quick and easy way to identify them, and the fandom's familiar with this system through Raven.

Which colors mean what was more inspired by details from a really old, now-defunct website called Cartoon Orbit that had separate "online trading cards" for each of Raven's emoticlones! On that site, Raven's were labeled as such, and this is what I based Dove's system on, loosely: - Pink: "Raven Happy" - Red: "Raven Rage" - Orange: "Raven Rude" - Yellow: "Raven Smart" - Green: "Raven Brave" - Brown: "Raven Fear" (I'm pretty sure there was a purple one, but I don't recall what it was called. "Love" maybe? That might be from fanon; this site was running like 15 years ago, and I was like 10 years old, so I hardly thought to pay Super Special Attention to it...)

But I digress. The point is, I adapted that system for the key aspects of Dove's unique personality, and came to understand them as follows:

- Pink: Joy, relief, coziness - Red: Cruelty, impulsivity, anger - Orange: Apathy, indifference, disregard - Yellow: Curiosity, study, intrigue - Green: Courage, determination, activity - Blue: Contentedness, pacifism, spirituality - Purple: Compassion, friendship, romanticism - Gray: Sadness, grief, longing. - Brown: Fear, fear, fear!

But for Dove's mind in particular, it's not only HER experiences and personality that form the world! She's a telepath, and though she holds others' privacy in very, very high regard and tries never to read someone's mind without their permission, her sense of receptive telepathy is ever-present. Echoes, lights, shadows, reflections of others' memories and thoughts might affect the very edges of her mind. It's a constant sense, but it only ever causes very ephemeral changes unless something deeply affects her.

Her mindscape also grows and changes as Dove grows and changes, experiences life, learns to cope, and changes how she handles her own emotions.

Most notably, the internal struggle in DDD tore her mind apart. Initially it was due to a breakdown of certainty and confidence, hastened by guilt and grief, but it soon became a deliberate tactic to wage war on the parts of Dove's mind that were trying to resist the evil; eventually her inner demon began intentionally breaking/corrupting everything it could touch.

By chapter 20, that evil is the only strong and stable thing in Dove's mind. Raven's attack to remove the evil in her took away that stability, and strength, and thus took away what was essentially the last support holding Dove's mind together. As it says in the story: "everything collapsed". Dove's mindscape was utterly destroyed, and only the most basic aspects of her remained.

For awhile, that left Dove unable to remember things clearly, or feel emotions without great pain. Rebuilding it to the point where she was able to talk and feel Mostly Normally again took months of meditation.

When Dove is kidnapped and Leyla has distressing dreams about her mother, she, Srentha, and Raven use the mirror to check on Dove by accessing her mindscape. With her powers stripped away, surrounded by people who mock her, and certain Fauni rituals sickening Dove to her soul, naturally her mind is very different: shadowy forms flitted at the edges of vision, the ground wavered, her discomfort was thick in the air and the constant fear made everything so, so cold. "Shadows" of others' thoughts flashed in and out of existence, and Dove's desperation manifests as fleeting voices on the wind. It's uncomfortable to be in her mind while she's so distressed.

It's also worth mentioning that her mindscape changes again, essentially "growing" the part of her that belongs to Love when she finally lets herself love Srentha, and it expands again when Leyla's born and Dove once more finds depths of love she didn't know she could carry.